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Entry tags:
Spidey-metaquotes, Spidey-metaquotes, Doing the Things.....
Last post was depressing, so here's a bit of random fun to brighten your day:
I was explaining to Mom the finer points of Shag, Marry, and Throw Off a Cliff when I was met with silence. I thought I had finally reached that critical point where it was just too much for even my mom when she turned towards me and said, "So, Kirk, Spock, and McCoy?"
My mom also renamed it: Shag, Bag, and Gag.
While on the way to Transformers last night waiting at a light next to a car with two chicks in it, Chris and Wes were recalling some of their glory days when they once missed their exit trying to keep up with a car full of hot girls.
Stef said, "You know, your mom said that I was naive, and that men only have two things on their minds: sex and food. So I said, 'So, what, I assume they're always thinking about food?' Your dad about died laughing."
There was a pause, then Rachael spoke up. "They weren't that great."
"Sex and food?" I quipped.
"The girls," Rachael said laughing.
"Well, I have a lot of experience with one of those, and I hear the other is great." I waited a beat. "I can't wait to try escargot."
During Transformers, there is a line where Optimus Prime says that he and his fellow Autobots learned to speak from the internet. I reflected on how this isn't so, otherwise the Autobot speech would look something like, "I can has glasses now? Lolz, im in ur yard, stealing ur car."
Stef was a bridesmaid at a wedding recently, and Mom and Uncle John tried convincing her to go to the after-wedding dance.
"Come on, Stef, wear your bridesmaids dress, all the cowboys would be sitting next to you. Cowboys like shiny things," Uncle John said jokingly.
"No, they'd be around her because cowboys like cheap things," Mom said.
Stef said she considered her comeback, but said it anyway because she knew my mom would say it given the chance. "So, that explains Uncle Stan marrying you, then, right?"
I was explaining to Mom the finer points of Shag, Marry, and Throw Off a Cliff when I was met with silence. I thought I had finally reached that critical point where it was just too much for even my mom when she turned towards me and said, "So, Kirk, Spock, and McCoy?"
My mom also renamed it: Shag, Bag, and Gag.
While on the way to Transformers last night waiting at a light next to a car with two chicks in it, Chris and Wes were recalling some of their glory days when they once missed their exit trying to keep up with a car full of hot girls.
Stef said, "You know, your mom said that I was naive, and that men only have two things on their minds: sex and food. So I said, 'So, what, I assume they're always thinking about food?' Your dad about died laughing."
There was a pause, then Rachael spoke up. "They weren't that great."
"Sex and food?" I quipped.
"The girls," Rachael said laughing.
"Well, I have a lot of experience with one of those, and I hear the other is great." I waited a beat. "I can't wait to try escargot."
During Transformers, there is a line where Optimus Prime says that he and his fellow Autobots learned to speak from the internet. I reflected on how this isn't so, otherwise the Autobot speech would look something like, "I can has glasses now? Lolz, im in ur yard, stealing ur car."
Stef was a bridesmaid at a wedding recently, and Mom and Uncle John tried convincing her to go to the after-wedding dance.
"Come on, Stef, wear your bridesmaids dress, all the cowboys would be sitting next to you. Cowboys like shiny things," Uncle John said jokingly.
"No, they'd be around her because cowboys like cheap things," Mom said.
Stef said she considered her comeback, but said it anyway because she knew my mom would say it given the chance. "So, that explains Uncle Stan marrying you, then, right?"