Candy Spam
May. 17th, 2008 06:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kitsjayHot guys have a radar.
This radar does not say, "Girl nearby!", no no. This radar says, "Girl nearby who would normally look fine, but is now not wearing a bra or make-up, and is lounging around in her brother's trashy old Astros shirt because she woke up and realized it was Saturday and is spending the day watching the Red Green Show while babysitting a hyper dog".
This radar was functioning perfectly today, apparently.
The doorbell rang to Mike and Mary Ann's, the dog went nuts, so I'm trying to shout, "Just a second!" above the noise of him slamming into walls and freaking out, and decided I really didn't have time to throw on a bra or anything--besides it's probably just some sales thing or something--and open the door to find this absolute doll standing there, smiling charmingly.
So here I am trying to hold a conversation with this guy looking for Mary Ann because he's visiting people in the ward, he's making conversation ("You're an Astros fan?" So much for hoping he won't notice the bra-less-ness; "Yeah, I moved from Hawaii when I was 18", and "Is it really always this humid?") and I'm trying to be polite all the while thinking, "You couldn't have come yesterday? When I was all dolled up because I had to go into town?".
Anyway, because at this rate, I am never going to find a hot guy in real life, I've decided to indoctrinate you into one of my most recent obsessions. This includes eye candy, because I'm on to you people.
So, due South. What we have here is a show about a Mountie, Fraser, (played by the extremely pretty Paul Gross) who came to Chicago on the trail of the killers of his father (played by Gordon Pinsent, Sr., or Hap Shaunessy on the Red Green Show) and, for reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture, stayed as a liaison at the Canadian Consulate and along the way he upholds truth, justice, and the Canadian way. Or something like that.
What you really need to know is that it has Mounties, which are always fun. It also has a snarky Chicago cop named Ray, a deaf wolf who reads lips named Diefenbaker, and some seriously surreal humor going on. For one, the ghost of Fraser's father returns to haunt him (in the form of bad advice and rambling stories involving caribou and beaver smugglers) and lives in a closet at the Canadian Consulate, which happens to look like Canada when it's opened. There's also Turnbull, a brilliantly inept Constable who works at the Consulate and would be quite at home in a Monty Python skit; Inspector Margaret Thatcher (no relation) played by Camilla Scott; and Francesca Vecchio, who, like the Mounties, always gets her man (or at least tries her best). Did I mention it has Mounties? That never gets old.
What you really, really need to know is
And he sings, too!
The show also has a lovely theme song.
Guest stars include Leslie Nielsen, Melina Kanakaredes, and most of the cast of The Red Green Show and Nero Wolfe.
And it's just plain funny:
Ms. Vecchio: He's so polite.
Ray: He's Canadian.
Ms. Vecchio: Oh, I thought he was sick.
Fraser: I see logic is not one of your hobbies.
Fraser: I thought I was in love once. And then later I thought maybe it was just an inner ear imbalance... In the end I realized I'd learned two things. The first is... that it's easier to think you're in love than it is to accept that you're alone, and the second is that it's very easy to confuse love with subatomic particles bursting in the air. Well, I also learned that I should have my ears checked more regularly.
Kowalski: Routine is the silent killer.
Fraser: I thought that was high blood pressure.
Kowalski: Nah, they changed that.
Fraser: When?
Kowalski: You were on vacation.
Robert Fraser: What you need, son, if you don't mind me saying, is a good solid plan--or you can just throw a rock.
Robert: When I first joined the Mounted Police, all the equipment we ever got was a paper bag and a pointed stick. Now, we used the bag to boil tea, and the stick was for killing game, and if you lost either of them, they charged you for it!
Fraser Sr.: Hello, son.
Constable Benton Fraser: [warily] Hello, Dad. How are you?
Fraser Sr.: I'm dead, son. Other than that, do you mean?
Constable Benton Fraser: No, that's what I was asking.
Fraser Sr.: Oh, that's good. Never be ashamed to ask a stupid question, son. I taught you that, didn't I?
Constable Benton Fraser: Not specifically, no.
Fraser Sr.: Well, no time like the present.
Fraser Sr.: The case. The case you're working on. Something about it bothers you.
Constable Benton Fraser: Well, in a nutshell: There was a bank robbery today, now we've identified the perpetrators, but the wheelman, that's the driver in Chicago parlance, double-crossed his partners. Now what we can't seem to figure- is there any insanity in our family?
Fraser Sr.: No, not that I'm aware of.
Constable Benton Fraser: Good.
Fraser Sr.: Well, there was your Uncle Tiberius who died wrapped in cabbage leaves, but we assumed that was a freak accident.
Benton Fraser: Is this a dream or are you still dead?
Robert Fraser: Still dead, son. Thanks for asking.
Fraser: Let me tell you something, Ray, I think that the person who invented pantyhose should be brought up on charges of cruelty, sadism and reckless endangerment. They pinch in the most inappropriate places.
Vecchio: Yeah, well most people who wear them don't have those places, Benny.
This radar does not say, "Girl nearby!", no no. This radar says, "Girl nearby who would normally look fine, but is now not wearing a bra or make-up, and is lounging around in her brother's trashy old Astros shirt because she woke up and realized it was Saturday and is spending the day watching the Red Green Show while babysitting a hyper dog".
This radar was functioning perfectly today, apparently.
The doorbell rang to Mike and Mary Ann's, the dog went nuts, so I'm trying to shout, "Just a second!" above the noise of him slamming into walls and freaking out, and decided I really didn't have time to throw on a bra or anything--besides it's probably just some sales thing or something--and open the door to find this absolute doll standing there, smiling charmingly.
So here I am trying to hold a conversation with this guy looking for Mary Ann because he's visiting people in the ward, he's making conversation ("You're an Astros fan?" So much for hoping he won't notice the bra-less-ness; "Yeah, I moved from Hawaii when I was 18", and "Is it really always this humid?") and I'm trying to be polite all the while thinking, "You couldn't have come yesterday? When I was all dolled up because I had to go into town?".
Anyway, because at this rate, I am never going to find a hot guy in real life, I've decided to indoctrinate you into one of my most recent obsessions. This includes eye candy, because I'm on to you people.
So, due South. What we have here is a show about a Mountie, Fraser, (played by the extremely pretty Paul Gross) who came to Chicago on the trail of the killers of his father (played by Gordon Pinsent, Sr., or Hap Shaunessy on the Red Green Show) and, for reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture, stayed as a liaison at the Canadian Consulate and along the way he upholds truth, justice, and the Canadian way. Or something like that.
What you really need to know is that it has Mounties, which are always fun. It also has a snarky Chicago cop named Ray, a deaf wolf who reads lips named Diefenbaker, and some seriously surreal humor going on. For one, the ghost of Fraser's father returns to haunt him (in the form of bad advice and rambling stories involving caribou and beaver smugglers) and lives in a closet at the Canadian Consulate, which happens to look like Canada when it's opened. There's also Turnbull, a brilliantly inept Constable who works at the Consulate and would be quite at home in a Monty Python skit; Inspector Margaret Thatcher (no relation) played by Camilla Scott; and Francesca Vecchio, who, like the Mounties, always gets her man (or at least tries her best). Did I mention it has Mounties? That never gets old.
What you really, really need to know is
And he sings, too!
The show also has a lovely theme song.
Guest stars include Leslie Nielsen, Melina Kanakaredes, and most of the cast of The Red Green Show and Nero Wolfe.
And it's just plain funny:
Ms. Vecchio: He's so polite.
Ray: He's Canadian.
Ms. Vecchio: Oh, I thought he was sick.
Fraser: I see logic is not one of your hobbies.
Fraser: I thought I was in love once. And then later I thought maybe it was just an inner ear imbalance... In the end I realized I'd learned two things. The first is... that it's easier to think you're in love than it is to accept that you're alone, and the second is that it's very easy to confuse love with subatomic particles bursting in the air. Well, I also learned that I should have my ears checked more regularly.
Kowalski: Routine is the silent killer.
Fraser: I thought that was high blood pressure.
Kowalski: Nah, they changed that.
Fraser: When?
Kowalski: You were on vacation.
Robert Fraser: What you need, son, if you don't mind me saying, is a good solid plan--or you can just throw a rock.
Robert: When I first joined the Mounted Police, all the equipment we ever got was a paper bag and a pointed stick. Now, we used the bag to boil tea, and the stick was for killing game, and if you lost either of them, they charged you for it!
Fraser Sr.: Hello, son.
Constable Benton Fraser: [warily] Hello, Dad. How are you?
Fraser Sr.: I'm dead, son. Other than that, do you mean?
Constable Benton Fraser: No, that's what I was asking.
Fraser Sr.: Oh, that's good. Never be ashamed to ask a stupid question, son. I taught you that, didn't I?
Constable Benton Fraser: Not specifically, no.
Fraser Sr.: Well, no time like the present.
Fraser Sr.: The case. The case you're working on. Something about it bothers you.
Constable Benton Fraser: Well, in a nutshell: There was a bank robbery today, now we've identified the perpetrators, but the wheelman, that's the driver in Chicago parlance, double-crossed his partners. Now what we can't seem to figure- is there any insanity in our family?
Fraser Sr.: No, not that I'm aware of.
Constable Benton Fraser: Good.
Fraser Sr.: Well, there was your Uncle Tiberius who died wrapped in cabbage leaves, but we assumed that was a freak accident.
Benton Fraser: Is this a dream or are you still dead?
Robert Fraser: Still dead, son. Thanks for asking.
Fraser: Let me tell you something, Ray, I think that the person who invented pantyhose should be brought up on charges of cruelty, sadism and reckless endangerment. They pinch in the most inappropriate places.
Vecchio: Yeah, well most people who wear them don't have those places, Benny.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-05-18 01:24 am (UTC)(It's hot here. Really hot.)
BTW, have you read DS stories from
no subject
Date: 2008-05-18 01:28 am (UTC)And you're very welcome. Due South is a fandom meant to be shared with others.
no subject
Date: 2008-05-19 04:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-24 08:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-24 02:21 am (UTC)lol that made me giggle
so...the show is called Due South? and it has most of the cast of Nero Wolfe in it?!?? i will have to look into it :D thanks for posting this!
no subject
Date: 2008-05-24 08:57 am (UTC)Yup! At one point or another, nearly everyone shows up. So far I've caught the goony looking guy (in the unwed mother episode, he played the nephew), Saul, and a few others here and there.
:)) Hey, glat to--the pretty must be shared.