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1. If your user-name is any variation of "iheart[Insert Main Lead's Name Here]" or "Mrs. [Last Name of Main Lead]".
Normally, I don't pay much attention to usernames. They're one of those things that tend to go unnoticed, like when your teacher mentions tomorrow's homework assignment, except I'm never going to have to make a late-night phone call to a classmate desperately asking what your username was before class the next morning.
But when I see the above examples, I run. You know what that says to me? Unless it's an older fandom, it says that you watched the show, decided you liked it, and then wrote some schlock to post on the web that consists of OOC versions of my favorite characters, poor grammar, and quite possibly a Mary Sue because you've never been on the web before. It also says that you quite possibly are a 13-year-old girl (i.e., N00b). This is true 99% of the time, so don't bother wailing that I'm denying myself opportunities to read the Next Great American Fanfic. I'm not interested in that 1%.
2. If you misspell anything, but particularly one of the main character's names.
I know the canon. Clearly, you do not. For some reason, people in "Royal Pains", for example, are completely unable to spell "Boris". Seriously, not that hard.
ACTUAL EXAMPLE: What if Boises new doctor had actually hit Hank with her car
"Boises" is actually "Boris'" for those of you with an understanding of basic English.
3. If your summary reads something like this:
ACTUAL EXAMPLE: The first date. Now i know u want to read it. So click the title and read. No likey men kissing, no reading. You been warned. Flames will be used in the taking over of the world.
Congratulations, you almost have a complete sentence describing your fic! I see a... hmm, well, there's no verb, but B- for trying. Oh, wait, you can't capitalize or spell out "you"... maybe just a C+... Oh, and your cutesy way of saying flames (which, judging by my experience on the Internet, actually means "constructive criticism" to certain authors, by which I mean this one) aren't tolerated... Yeah, never mind, you get an F.
4. Speaking of, if your summary contains absolutely nothing describing your fic.
Maybe you're into furries and decided to show your love by painstakingly transcribing that love into fanfic. That's cool, whatever, but me? Not so much. It'd be nice to know that before clicking, except...
I'm not going to click it. Seriously, this annoys me when published books do it--they have a ton of reviews raving about how great the book is on the back, without one thing saying what it's about. Is it about robotic pirates sailing the high seas stealing technology to upgrade their parts? Is it about the epic love story between a boy and his 1973 Mustang? Is it about ex-felons who try to break back into a prison because they forgot their picture of Mr. Fluffy in the cell?
I don't know and I'm not going to waste my time picking a book I might not like for one I know I probably will. You may be alienating some people by putting that little description there, but I can promise you you're alienating a lot more by not putting anything.
5. If your fic says 235/?
This means that you haven't finished it yet, you have no idea where it's going, and you may never finish it at all. Strike three, you're out.
Normally, I don't pay much attention to usernames. They're one of those things that tend to go unnoticed, like when your teacher mentions tomorrow's homework assignment, except I'm never going to have to make a late-night phone call to a classmate desperately asking what your username was before class the next morning.
But when I see the above examples, I run. You know what that says to me? Unless it's an older fandom, it says that you watched the show, decided you liked it, and then wrote some schlock to post on the web that consists of OOC versions of my favorite characters, poor grammar, and quite possibly a Mary Sue because you've never been on the web before. It also says that you quite possibly are a 13-year-old girl (i.e., N00b). This is true 99% of the time, so don't bother wailing that I'm denying myself opportunities to read the Next Great American Fanfic. I'm not interested in that 1%.
2. If you misspell anything, but particularly one of the main character's names.
I know the canon. Clearly, you do not. For some reason, people in "Royal Pains", for example, are completely unable to spell "Boris". Seriously, not that hard.
ACTUAL EXAMPLE: What if Boises new doctor had actually hit Hank with her car
"Boises" is actually "Boris'" for those of you with an understanding of basic English.
3. If your summary reads something like this:
ACTUAL EXAMPLE: The first date. Now i know u want to read it. So click the title and read. No likey men kissing, no reading. You been warned. Flames will be used in the taking over of the world.
Congratulations, you almost have a complete sentence describing your fic! I see a... hmm, well, there's no verb, but B- for trying. Oh, wait, you can't capitalize or spell out "you"... maybe just a C+... Oh, and your cutesy way of saying flames (which, judging by my experience on the Internet, actually means "constructive criticism" to certain authors, by which I mean this one) aren't tolerated... Yeah, never mind, you get an F.
4. Speaking of, if your summary contains absolutely nothing describing your fic.
Maybe you're into furries and decided to show your love by painstakingly transcribing that love into fanfic. That's cool, whatever, but me? Not so much. It'd be nice to know that before clicking, except...
I'm not going to click it. Seriously, this annoys me when published books do it--they have a ton of reviews raving about how great the book is on the back, without one thing saying what it's about. Is it about robotic pirates sailing the high seas stealing technology to upgrade their parts? Is it about the epic love story between a boy and his 1973 Mustang? Is it about ex-felons who try to break back into a prison because they forgot their picture of Mr. Fluffy in the cell?
I don't know and I'm not going to waste my time picking a book I might not like for one I know I probably will. You may be alienating some people by putting that little description there, but I can promise you you're alienating a lot more by not putting anything.
5. If your fic says 235/?
This means that you haven't finished it yet, you have no idea where it's going, and you may never finish it at all. Strike three, you're out.
