Hey, Step Back, You Need a Tic-Tac

[kitsjay]

In fiction, you always read that the heroine smells of "lavender and chamomile" or the hero tastes like "chocolate and mint".

Just once, I'd like to read a romance that is realistic.

"They kissed passionately, until the sounds of her gagging broke them apart. Pushing him away, she gasped.

'What did you eat for lunch?" the lady demanded as she held him at arm's length.

The strapping, handsome peasant boy frowned. 'My favorite,' he said. 'Tuna, garlic, and onion sandwiches.'

She subsequently married the rich duke her aunt picked out for her who subsisted solely on mint leaves, parsley, and gin and tonics with too much vermouth."

Just once.

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_celtic_rose_/]

Done. I'm going to eventually start writing a romance *at the suggestion of Nicole* and I'll totally add that stuff in.

[kitsjay.livejournal.com]

:)) Please do.

[genibane.livejournal.com]

Ha ha! That's so great! Definetely. I think I'd also like, you know how they always have those scences there the heroine hates the guy's guts and he keeps touching her and won't listen when she says to stop and then they end up making out? I wish for a scene where the woman rips around, gives him a good punch in the face and tells him the "back the f--k off," and then goes on her merry way. I've always wanted to write a farcical romance story.

[kitsjay.livejournal.com]

ajfkdlsa. I don't actually read them, I just hear about them--they don't really do that, do they? That's horrific. :|

[handhold.livejournal.com]

Maybe you're reading the wrong kind of romance novels!

[kitsjay.livejournal.com]

This is true, but I haven't seen a "Tunafish and Reality Romance" section yet. Alas, alack.

[handhold.livejournal.com]

The niche market is yours to conquer!

[kitsjay.livejournal.com]

Actually, in economics class my senior year, we had to read an economic murder mystery. It was written by two Harvard professors and was titled The Fatal Equilibrium. The tagline was so bad, I committed it to memory. It went as follows:

A delightful mix of murder and economics in a first rate whodunit!


And I realized, I don't need to be good at writing, I just need to create new genres. The biology noir detective! The chemistry romance!

But Tunafish and Reality romance tops even chemistry.

[handhold.livejournal.com]

That's... strangely brilliant.

See, I was making a sensible suggestion after all! I suggest you dedicate your first novel to me. ;;)

[neme-goddess.livejournal.com]

Just for the record: I currently smell like enchanted orchid and taste like sugar. While I haven't had a guy that smells/tastes like chocolate and mint, I have had a boyfriend who smelled and tasted (as some romances would say it) deliciously male. :-P Too bad the shexy bastard was too dumb to keep around XP

[kitsjay.livejournal.com]

*laughs*

Don't you love guys who smell good? I once followed two guys around because they smelled so wonderful.

[panpipe.livejournal.com]

I was going to refute this point, but the romance novel I read last night had such overblown confessions of love that I just can't bring myself to defend the genre. I think the ridiculous love confessions are more offensive than smelling nice :'(